Some things I've picked up along the way of a life lived a safe distance from the edge.
· Always carry a travel-sized toothbrush (and toothpaste) with you
· Same goes for travel-sized deodorant
· Save a lot of money for a breast reduction and then spend it on improv classes instead
· If you are a girl, offer to be the Big Spoon sometimes, say, once a month
· Never say “diet starts Monday”. Just eat your damn cupcake
· Don’t take off people’s hats without permission.
· Date unattractive people
· Dirty Martinis
· If you want to get an easy compliment, just talk to a Trader Joe’s cashier
· If you want to get a sincere compliment, have good fashion sense
· Don’t start smoking, but if you do, do it to be cool
· Nude beaches
· Hug a tree, if you want to look stupid
· Work in customer service at least once in your life and then you won’t be an asshole
· Work at Anthropologie, the discount is DOPE