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Some things I've picked up along the way of a life lived a safe distance from the edge.  


·         Always carry a travel-sized toothbrush (and toothpaste) with you

·         Same goes for travel-sized deodorant

·         Save a lot of money for a breast reduction and then spend it on improv classes instead

·         If you are a girl, offer to be the Big Spoon sometimes, say, once a month

·         Never say “diet starts Monday”.  Just eat your damn cupcake

·         Don’t take off people’s hats without permission. 

·         Date unattractive people

·         Dirty Martinis

·         IPAs

·         If you want to get an easy compliment, just talk to a Trader Joe’s cashier

·         If you want to get a sincere compliment, have good fashion sense

·         Don’t start smoking, but if you do, do it to be cool

·         Nude beaches

·         Hug a tree, if you want to look stupid

·         Work in customer service at least once in your life and then you won’t be an asshole

·         Work at Anthropologie, the discount is DOPE

·         Steal from your friends